i know i have not been blogging religiously like i said i am going to. look when the last entry was and look today! OMG. it's like 16 days? at least the blog is still up and running right? i didnt delete it. i have thought of deleting it but decided not to because i'll lose all that i have expressed the last 2 years.
i had a helluva good time last saturday. it was ruting and candice pool party to celebrate their birthdays! many people came and im gonna repeat this again, I CARRIED 20 PLUS PLUS PLUS 1.5ML BOTTLES DOWN AND DOWN AND DOWN FROM MY HOUSE TO THE BBQ PIT! omg. heavy heavy heavy. but it was all worth it. we had fun. marshmellows.. YUMMY! one by one, people went back but the few of us, close friends stayed over and played games. there was one time when a guy from another condo came to the fence and told us to keep the noise level down but other than that, there were no complains. which was good! more parties please!!
and so i feel so goth today cause like my class, we arranged to wear black today. as in like ALL BLACK (think - black mascara, black eyeliner, black nails and black shoes and black bags). haha. so fun. i think i look super super super scary when i left my house this morning. luckily no one like stared at me or else, im so sure i'll dig their eyes out. gotta go with the image man! hahah.
Sunday, October 15, 2006
Quit acting so friendly.
Don't nod don't laugh all nicely.
Don't think you'll up-end me.
Don't sigh, don't sip your iced-tea.
And don't say, "It's been a while..."
And don't flash that stupid smile.
Don't ask me how I've been.
Don't think I've forgotten,
you never liked that necklace.
So cordial, so rotten...
Kiss, kiss, let's meet for breakfast.
Don't show up so on-time
and don't act like you're so kind
Don't ask me how I've been.
Don't sit there and play just
so frank, so straight, so candid,
so thoughtful, so gracious,
so sound, so even-handed.
Don't be so damn benign
and don't waste my fucking time.
Don't ask me how I've been.
emacity
2:49 AM
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Friday, October 13, 2006
it all started this morning. i reached home at about 5.30 am. showered and went to sleep at 6 am. then i started tossing and turning and groaning (think of every possible uncomfortable noise you can make).
my hands and feet were numb cause it was tooo cold and my chest was super tight, making me have difficulties in breathing. i was hugging myself. super terrible. so at 8 am, i woke up, i couldnt sleep anymore. my chest was hurting like crazy and i started crying cause it was super painful. i thought i was gonna be admitted in the hospital and i thought of the people visiting me and bringing magazines.
so i went to wash up and went downstairs for a cup of milo. i was still hurting. then my mum woke up and i told her and she quickly washed up and brought me to the doctor's.
the doctor checked me and asked me when was the last time i had eaten and how much sleep i had and when did it start being painful. then he asked me to lie on the bed and checked the centre of the chest cause there was where it hurt. so i told him that it was the internal and not the external.
he explained that it could be due to the acid in the stomach, when i sleep, it like "rolled" into the heart area causing heart burns. so that was what i was suffering in the morning, heart burn. then he said, for 3 days, no milky stuffs, no chilli, no fried and oily stuffs... blah blah blah.
then i went to my grandma's and slept there. when i woke up, i was feeling chilly and i think i was having fever. my throat hurts and i was giddy.
then i ate my medicine. yuckness i tell u. my chest is getting tighter now. shit. let's hope it'll be ok by morning.
:)
emacity
11:53 PM
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Thursday, October 12, 2006
this is random. it is as random as it can ever be. super random.
i'm bored. so that's why this is random. oh oh oh.
i cant wait for tonight.
i'm just kidding.
i'm like half half
like random.
:)
emacity
4:46 PM
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Sunday, October 08, 2006
i feel like blogging but i dont feel like blogging either. it makes me so frustrated that i have to blog about my frustration. but blogging about that makes me not feel like blogging. so should i blog or not?
i know i'm already blogging but this blog is not like any other blogs. i wanna blog about that but it seems so hard to blog it out. i think blogging about that is just too hard. it feels as if it can be discovered. it seems so easy but it is actually very hard. not only is it very hard, it is also meaningless to blog about that. so now that i am actually blogging about something that i am thinking of whether to blog or not is stupid.
so should i still continue blogging or not? i think i should blog. i really really should blog. but i really dont feel like either. the title of this blog and this actual blog does not go. should i change the title? nah. i like blogging about something no one understands but me.
this is a complicated blog just like the complication that i am in. blogging and me make good friends. "blogging" in that sentence is a different meaning of the blogging you know. it is a whole different dimension if you look at it the real blogging way. do you understand? neither do i. i dont understand about this blogging thing that works on nights.
read between the lines.
if you get it, you get it.
emacity
11:28 PM
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Friday, October 06, 2006
i was talking to sherlyn online and i was using my webcam. it's actually very lousy but whatever.
innocence spilled. says:
now u look so sad
innocence spilled. says:
dont emo ahh
innocence spilled. says:
oeiiiii
innocence spilled. says:
oeiiii
melody says:
haha
melody says:
dont shit ah
melody says:
u
melody says:
my eyebrows are so dark ah
melody says:
and myforehead is like so funny ahh
melody says:
i think i look out of shape
melody says:
hahaha
innocence spilled. says:
u got high forehead uh
melody says:
i duno ehh
melody says:
maybe cuz my eyebrows are too concentrated near the eye it gives lots to space to the forehead
melody says:
haha
innocence spilled. says:
haha
emacity
12:12 AM
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Thursday, October 05, 2006
someone please tell him/her to wake up!
it's no use dreaming of something that you know will never happen, not in a million years. you know that him/her is a whole different person compared to you.
wake up already. stop dreaming. think otherwise. feel otherwise.
yes. he/she may be someone you think can share your thoughts with. he/she may have almost the same interest as you but hello, it's a world apart.
emacity
11:07 PM
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Wednesday, October 04, 2006
come on. get real. WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU? you are not gonna abandon whatever you have done to a person. that is not right. explain yourself and make yourself understood. there is no point in holding back. you are just making the other party confused.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
after what you have done. you are just gonna leave it, ignore that buzzing person buzzing you, bother that person for something that you want but never caring about the person's feelings. i know it sounds mean. the person, however, does not feel that way. it hurts to know that the person is hurt.
he/she needs to know that it is not another passing facade. that you feel something. you want something. you need something. just that, he/she does not know where he/she stands.
he/she does not know enough. he/she needs to find himself/herself. he/she is afraid to go ahead. give the green light to himself/herself. tell himself/herself that it is fine and he/she can go ahead. he/she is afraid of the surroundings, afraid of the gossip, afraid of the confrontation, afraid of whatever that may come his/her way.
it's too difficult to think harder.
emacity
1:06 AM
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