up till now, i have not reconciled with my uncle yet. reason why? from what i think, he looks down on me! ME! ME! ME! i dont care if that not the actual reason. but to me, it is.
it's been 6 mths! 6 mths! everytime i head back from school, i dont look forward to a happy, welcoming grandma's house but, in fact, a fearful and rejected alien place. i no longer sit and talk to everyone with no worries, i hide away from them. i coop myself in a room and study or at least, stare in my book and wait for time to pass so that i can leave the house and go back to my own. i no longer look straight into his eyes and hear him say his funny jokes. i hesitated giving him a christmas present last year but guess what? i gave. but he threw it in his cupboard letting it collect dust. i am really upset. i wanted to clear things up but he did not give me a chance.
he looks down on me. he really does. i think it's because i'm in NORMAL - ACADEMIC. i stupidly waste one year in sec 5 doing what people in the express stream can do in 4 years. i remember those words coming right out of his mouth.
i'm a nobody in the house. i can come in and out and no one will ever realise except my grandmother. i think she's the best best bestest person in the whole wide world. although i hardly talk to her but i still help her once in a while and i know she has a warm heart.
Sunday, April 24, 2005
***i'm trying to get over some things that happened in my family recently. those things will never end, but i'm trying to forget them even before i try to help out. i'm getting frustrated over those things and i dont want to lend a hand anymore.***
life doesnt get any better now.. i dunno what's coming up for the exams and even though i've asked already, i'm still not quite sure. it's an impt year but i'm not quite prepared. i have about 6 mths left to the big O and yet i'm still not treating it very seriously.
i guess i'll have to just push myself harder cuz i'm already at the last lap of sec sch, do well and move on and continue with further studies.
a little recap ytd --> 23/4 saturday
i had flag day ytd and it was really fun. i think it's the best flag day out of the many times i've gone flagging (if there is such a word). haha.
rt, sherlyn, peiwen and i went to P.S to have breakfast at macs. it's been a long time since i ate macs - breakfast. haha. thn we went to gv to watch 'infection'; pei wen didnt come along. it was really creepy; quite a scary movie. before we caught that show, rt was telling us a little of the show frm sherwin's point of view (he watched it already). here's wat rt said:
"it's about infection through the mind and something green green will come out frm the ear".
i told it was one of those shows where people get infected and they'll be warded in the hospital, something like the SARS case. but, oh no, it wasnt! it was a jap movie frm the creators of 'ju-on'. so you can tell what it is about already yeah? anything red that the person sees will turn green and anything that is green will turn red. plus, it happens in an eerie, rundown hospital with only 2 to 3 doctors and nurses and 6 rooms. how's that?
alright, enough about the show.. after that, we headed to cine where pei wen met us again. some power 98 DJs were promoting 'xxx2, the next level' the movie starring someone and someone. haha. we got some tattoos that bore the show title and paste it onto our hands, legs, backs and chests. it was hilarious. they took a photo of us and were so glad that they gave us (sher, rt and i) goody bags. in it were a 'xxx2' beanie, singlet, keychain and more tattoos. haha.. we each also received a pair of tickets to watch the premiere of the show. i'm bringing my bro along that is if only he finishes his homework on time. haha..
yeah.. so that's about it.. i think it's a really long entry.. the longest since...........i dunno.. cant remember.. haha..
emacity
5:59 PM
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Sunday, April 17, 2005
i found a book already.. did i mentioned that before? i cant remember.. my memory is failing me recently. haha.. my cousin lent me a book titled "sophie's world". it's a philosophy book that tells u about how u see things. although i have only read the first 2 chapters of it, i found it really enriching. "who are you?" and "where does the world come from?" are 2 of the questions that got the book started. it's a really enlightening book that tells us about life and how we live it.
yup.. it's cool..
emacity
8:50 PM
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Wednesday, April 13, 2005
it's raining cats and dogs now. brrr.. hahas..
yeah yeah.. we had PFT just now.. i think i did terribly in standing board jump. i cant even hit a C - i got D. but, i was satisfied with the rest of the items, especially sit-up. i did 48 in a min! *pats on my back* heh.. that reminds me, there's 2.4 tml!! i have to get an A!!
a little reminisence of ytd...
let's see.. oh yeah.. we were having chemistry remedial when all of a sudden, mr foo decides to tell us some stories that happened in school. it was nothing scary but it was creepy.. haha.. thn it led to mrs yeong telling us abt her ghostly encounter. she was jogging one early morning to improve her health when she felt a need to look in a certain direction where she saw sth white. she stopped and looked at it. for the longest time, it did not move until a while later, it floated up in the air and vanished. this is only one story. she told us another 2 but i shall tell it another time.
when i went home, my cousin was playing with this voice thingy on his laptop. it was sooo fun. i got the chance to speak into the microphone and he thn adjusts the tone to mkae my voice sound as if i had sucked helium. it sounded like a cartoon character. haha..
emacity
6:28 PM
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Monday, April 11, 2005
school was pretty ok today. sherwin's back!!! haha.. he came to school today and gave everyone a little surprise. heh.. he bought carrot cake too and it was shared between ruting, jaslin, jiaming, candice, sherlyn, pikie and me. it was really nice. been such a long time since i ate carrot cake and i savoured the oily heavenly food.. haha.. it's different from the norm - canteen food.
oh yeah.. it's early international friendship day today. we had this "radio" thing during recess today and i think it's really cool. everyone were able to make dedications to friends, teachers and classes. i think they should make this "radio" thing a permanent one and maybe have different DJs on different days to let them do their stinct. i think it'll be really really cool..
emacity
8:46 PM
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Friday, April 08, 2005
great.. this com is getting on my nerves.. i'll have to re-blog again..
where was i?
oh yeah.. i finally borrowed a book from the library! actually, it wasnt me who borrowed the book, it's my mother. but the book is really easy to read. i think i can finish it by sun and thn i'll have to find another one to read. hmmm.. we'll see bout that..
oh yeah.. pikie commited a grave mistake today. she was playing baseball in class today when the paperball accidentally flew to sherlyn's face. you could have seen her. it was sooo scary.. haha.. her face was really black. it was like dark clouds forming above her head and u can see flashes of lightning. wooo.. scary.. hahahaha
pikie ah pikie, tell u how many things already... dun play with the paperball, look at what u have done huh.. hahas..
oh.. and pikie, if u want drinks and any simple snack after ur tennis game, please pre-order from me so i can deliver it right to the tennis court and maybe we can share it or sth. it's only open on friday nights and closed on other nights unless in emergency cases. hahaha..
take note ah, pikie.. haha
emacity
9:55 PM
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oh yeah. i finally borrowed a book from the library. actually it's my mum who borrowed it for me. yea! i have sth to read now.. but i think i'll finish it by sun and i'll have to look around for another book. we'll see about that..
hmmm. that pikie, played baseball in class today and the paperball flew and hit sherlyn's face. woo.. it was soo scary.. sherlyn's face was really black. it's like there are dark clouds forming on top of her head and lightnings can be seen striking down, it was very dark. hahahahaha..
pikie ah pikie, tell u so many times not to play with the paperball already rite.. see wat u have done.. hahaha..
oh yeah.. and pikie, if u want any drinks or simple snacks after playing tennis, please pre-order from me and i'll deliver it right to the tennis court and maybe we can share or sth. but this is only open on fri nights.. closed on other nights..
hahas..
emacity
9:38 PM
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Thursday, April 07, 2005
she's falling. she's really falling. i'm not referring to me, but someone else. she has another 1/4 more to go before she hits the jackpot in the pithole. if she doesnt make an effort to climb out, there'll be no hope for her any longer. the other is gonna pull her together and they'll be inseparable. there'll be no disparity between they're ways of thinking. she is not like this in the past. she's a whole lot more different. she has changed. i'm glad someone pulled me out when i'm 1/4 to 1/2 way in. it'll be difficult to pull her out now.
someone and i will try our very best to do that no matter what it takes but it'll be very very very difficult if her thinking is going to be like the other.
emacity
4:35 PM
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Tuesday, April 05, 2005
what does this means? "a strong of feeling of love, joy, hate, fear or jealousy" as said in the dictionary. does a person have to hide his emotions just because he is an introvert? or does a person have to emphasize on his emotion so much that it is almost fake?
i just dont understand why some people have to announce their feelings ALL over the place and not care about a single thing at all. i admit i do feel emotional sometimes but i dont let it take control over what i want to do. it's the determination that one has that wants them to aim for what they want to achieve. they set aside some time for themselves and figure out the way to deal with that emotion whether is it good or bad. everyone have to have some time out for themselves. that is the way to make life easier and not stress over the tiniest things.
anyone can take a walk down the park alone and think of the things they had done. they can pamper themselves, go watch a movie with no other but themselves or window shop. so dont ever stare at someone if they said that they want to watch a movie or window shop ALONE.
that certainly is nice, venting what i had bottled up for so long but it is not all. somethings are better left unsaid.
my dad has gone overseas and i have to wake up super early in the morning just to take the bus to school and i'm not used to it. argh!! daddy, come back quick!! hahas..
did i mention that pikie boxed my nose today? my goodness it was SOOO painful. i have to stress on the word "SO" cuz it was really painful. let me tell u how she did that magnificent punch. it all started during physics, i was doing my workbook and i was stuck at a question. i wanted to ask the teacher for help but he was busy teaching some other pupils. at the meantime, pikie's head was on the table, she was resting. and like how i would normally disturb her, i poked her but to my surprise she did not react so i happily continued poking (actually i just poked another 2 times) . when she did react, she threw a flying punch back at me and it hit my nose. awww.. thn she started apologising while i held on to my nose, afraid that it might start bleeding but fortunately, it did not. and for the rest of the day, i sneezed and sneezed.
i'm gonna get her back!!!
pikie... u heard that? I'M GONNA HAVE MY REVENGE!!!
emacity
6:22 PM
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Monday, April 04, 2005
i was flipping my cousin's cjc 1988 yearbook and guess who i saw? our school's teacher, ms marianne sim!! my cousin was telling me that this year's miss sg universe was from his school and i decided to check it out. as i was scanning thru the names, i saw "marianne sim" and when i looked at the picture, it was really her.. not that i'm really attracted to her or anything like that. she was sporting hair that was short and well, her uniform was just like everyone else.. haha..
hmmm.. i cant find any cheryl tay name or picture.. oh well, maybe my cousin gave me the wrong info.. hahas..
ms sim look really funny.. haha
pikie.. if u wanna look at her pic, u gotta come over to my place.. *sticks out tongue*
hahaha..
emacity
6:08 PM
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Sunday, April 03, 2005
i'm alone at home again. i'm still left with my newspaper cutting and that's all. finally. i need to find a book to read now that i have finished reading the da vinci code. i'll visit the library soon.. it's a nice place ok.. haha.
i'm feeling a little better now. was really down and out ytd or rather these few days. i'm feeling homey.
went for scrabble competition ytd and it was fun and challenging. but, i lost 2 rounds out of 3. lost to fairfield and shu qun sec. the fairfield girl i played against was rather snobbish while the shu qun girl applied alot of strategy using 2 and 3 letter word that i, obviously am alien to. they had one whole book of words while we had only 1 page of miserable 2 letter words. but all in all, it was fun. in the end, mr lim bought macs for us.. cool eh? hahas..
i have to go get tys-es later.. and maybe i can hint to my dad that i wanna buy a book.. hee. strategy is applied here. hahaha..
ok.. gotta go complete my cutting now..
emacity
2:54 PM
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